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You are here: Home / Personal thoughts / A gift unexpected

A gift unexpected

By Know-it-All Nikki Leave a Comment

Well, here is where it gets interesting. Everyone knows my aversion to work. Not just the 8-5 type but in general. I got an interesting offer this weekend. Honey says we are still in dire straits over the bills and I may be forced to check into charity for christmas for the kiddos. But what he did was actually throw me for a complete loop. He agreed with me.

He says I need to find a job. For months he has been hinting at me needing to get one but he actually came out and requested that I get one. I explained that the 2 people who we would go to for childcare for the baby really aren’t viable options anymore.

Person #1 really doesn’t want to watch kids (at all) She has turned down another family that used to go to her all the time, her reason is that she doesn’t want the baby getting sick. We originally agreed that we would trade services, I would watch her baby while she volunteered at the school if she would watch Peanut while I did the same. So far she hasn’t asked me (but has volunteered) and everytime I have asked, something has come up or the baby is sick. Now I know for a fact that child isn’t sick.

Person #2 wants to rape me repeatedly in fees for watching Peanut alone. When I told Honey this and told him what it would cost, he just shook his head.

I told him that I thought of getting a little part time job opposite of his schedule but he doesn’t like that because it would be very hard for him to work outside in the evenings around the house with the baby, there would be a lot he could not do because the baby wouldn’t be able to go out when it’s very cold. He asked what about finding something while the kids are in school… I explained again that I would have to take Peanut somewhere and it would cost me almos the entire paycheck for childcare once I take into account the rate of pay, how many hours I would work and how far I would travel. He agreed. Besides, I told him, I really don’t want Peanut to be with a sitter. He agreed again (this is where I fall to the floor clutching my heart from shock).

He suggested that I do some babysitting of my own. It’s not like we need a ton of money, just a little to even things out and leave more than $50 in the bank at the end of every month. I didn’t really think he wanted me babysitting cause it could keep him awake when he was trying to sleep during the day. We agreed that if I did, it would be no more than 2 children… not a whole troop.

So I don’t know what to think… this is like everything I have been asking for… for I don’t know how many years, and he is telling me I can have it. Don’t go back to work, but find a way to help out with the income.

Filed Under: Personal thoughts Tagged With: Everything Else

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Hi there!

I’m Nikki and I’m thrilled to have you here. I’m powered by a good chai latte, loads of chocolate, and humor. Here at Know-it-all Nikki, I dish up honest conversations about life with adult congenital heart disease and mental health. I also share my love of books, knitting, midlife, and life after divorce. So, pull up a seat and grab a beverage. Let’s spill some tea, have a lot of laughs, and a few good cries. To learn more about what makes me tick, CLICK HERE

knowitallnikki

#writer 📲 #Binder #bookblogger #Knitter 🐑 💙 #chd #ACHD #TGA📧 hello@knowitallnikki.com 📸 ©️ @knowitallnikki

Ok, okay, I won't go anywhere. Promise. . . . . #c Ok, okay, I won't go anywhere. Promise.
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#charliesworld #catstagram #instacats #catsofig #housecatlife
Technically, he's not ON my planner, thus preventi Technically, he's not ON my planner, thus preventing me from filling it out, but he IS laying on the stickers I need to fill in the days and dates.
.
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.
.
#charliesworld #instacats #catsofinstagram #catsofig #housecatlife catstagram
The world is falling apart. The world is falling apart.
Head to the blog (link in bio) and read the latest Head to the blog (link in bio) and read the latest. I've been trying to figure out how to write this for 2 months now and I still don't know if I got it right.
.
.
.
#knowitallnikkimovestoohio #dtga #heartmonth #ACHD #adultchdsurvivor
Well poop, I missed day 4 (Early Answers, Lasting Well poop, I missed day 4 (Early Answers, Lasting Impact) and day 5 (How We Monitorthe Heart)! But it's fine! Because they both fit nicely for today's adventures which consisted of a carotid artery ultrasound (day 5) and a series of messages between myself and @nationwidekids to discuss how best to approach the weight loss struggle (day 4). 🤨😠

But it also ties in beautifully with day 6 of #heartmonth, #choosingjoy because despite all of the crap that goes along with being an adult with CHD, I am genuinely joyful. Some of comes out in sarcasm but I've told people if I'm not cracking jokes or inserting some token sarcasm into the day, then something is truly wrong. The last 2 years have been hard, but believe me when I say, I AM HAPPY and I'm wearing red today!
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.
.
#ACHD #congenitalheartdefectsurvivor #WearRedforHeartMonth
I almost missed it, day 3 prompt for #heartmonth i I almost missed it, day 3 prompt for #heartmonth is #lifebetweenappointments 

Yeesh, where do I start? Right now my life between appointments is a little chaotic. The number of appointments has increased a thousand fold than what I was used to growing up.  There are more appointments now than I had when I was pregnant with all four kids!

I struggle to keep them straight or where they're going to be. I write them down in a paper planner, my wall calendar, and my phone's calendar. And I still wind up looking them up multiple times because I don't trust my brain's ability to recall.

I'm expected to write down detailed symptoms. I don't recognize symptoms as symptoms. It just feels like a Tuesday to me. But do try to have a normal life, the docs encourage: eat right, be active, get sleep. How do I do that and not wonder if what I'm feeling while I'm trying to be normal is a symptom?
.
.
.
.
#heartfailure #congestiveheartfailure #congenitalheartdefect
Waiting. . . . #catsofinstagram #charliesworld #in Waiting.
.
.
.
#catsofinstagram #charliesworld #instacats #catsofig #catstagram
Day 2 of #heartmonth is #motivationmonday. All I c Day 2 of #heartmonth is #motivationmonday. All I can say, is sometimes motivation feels like the end of a very long tunnel; a pinprick of light in an otherwise black abyss. Motivation eludes me more than I care to admit. When it feels unattainable I feel like the little girl I used to be, opening my eyes in a pitch black room, are my eyes actually open? Making my way across the room, arms outstretched, hoping I don't run into anything, or worse, fall. 
And then other times, like on this Monday, motivation arrives and it feels easy, like a special occasion you'vebeen waiting for. So you wear the anatomical heart earrings your daughter bought you and you don the gifted knit heart cowl your knitty BFF made for you and for a day you feel normal.
.
.
.
.
#congenitalheartdefectsurvivor #congestiveheartfailure #dtga
Today kicks off the first day of #heartmonth. I st Today kicks off the first day of #heartmonth. I still think it's silly to only give one day, one month, or even one week to talk about heart disease. Alas, here we are. 

I'm going to do my best to follow the 28 daily prompts for #heartdisease and #chdawareness but I make no promises.

Today's prompt is #BeyondtheDiagnosis. To me, looking beyond being born with a CHD means a few things:

It's the invisible things that can't be measured on a chart, like the fatigue, sadness for the health I wasn't born with, and the mental math of asking myself if I have enough energy for all I want to get accomplished in a week, or even a day.

It's being seen as a whole person; not the condition the doctors are treating. This a part of me, not all of me. I'm still a parent, friend, writer, a hopeless romantic. Yes, I'm a heart patient, I ALWAYS will be, but I'm also opinionated, stubborn, funny, and a person with real feelings. 

But most of all it's refusing to be reduced to number in the healthcare system, or someone else's discomfort.
.
.
.
#chdawareness
Follow on Instagram

knowitallnikki

#writer 📲 #Binder #bookblogger #Knitter 🐑 💙 #chd #ACHD #TGA📧 hello@knowitallnikki.com 📸 ©️ @knowitallnikki

Ok, okay, I won't go anywhere. Promise. . . . . #c Ok, okay, I won't go anywhere. Promise.
.
.
.
.
#charliesworld #catstagram #instacats #catsofig #housecatlife
Technically, he's not ON my planner, thus preventi Technically, he's not ON my planner, thus preventing me from filling it out, but he IS laying on the stickers I need to fill in the days and dates.
.
.
.
.
#charliesworld #instacats #catsofinstagram #catsofig #housecatlife catstagram
The world is falling apart. The world is falling apart.
Head to the blog (link in bio) and read the latest Head to the blog (link in bio) and read the latest. I've been trying to figure out how to write this for 2 months now and I still don't know if I got it right.
.
.
.
#knowitallnikkimovestoohio #dtga #heartmonth #ACHD #adultchdsurvivor
Well poop, I missed day 4 (Early Answers, Lasting Well poop, I missed day 4 (Early Answers, Lasting Impact) and day 5 (How We Monitorthe Heart)! But it's fine! Because they both fit nicely for today's adventures which consisted of a carotid artery ultrasound (day 5) and a series of messages between myself and @nationwidekids to discuss how best to approach the weight loss struggle (day 4). 🤨😠

But it also ties in beautifully with day 6 of #heartmonth, #choosingjoy because despite all of the crap that goes along with being an adult with CHD, I am genuinely joyful. Some of comes out in sarcasm but I've told people if I'm not cracking jokes or inserting some token sarcasm into the day, then something is truly wrong. The last 2 years have been hard, but believe me when I say, I AM HAPPY and I'm wearing red today!
.
.
.
.
#ACHD #congenitalheartdefectsurvivor #WearRedforHeartMonth
I almost missed it, day 3 prompt for #heartmonth i I almost missed it, day 3 prompt for #heartmonth is #lifebetweenappointments 

Yeesh, where do I start? Right now my life between appointments is a little chaotic. The number of appointments has increased a thousand fold than what I was used to growing up.  There are more appointments now than I had when I was pregnant with all four kids!

I struggle to keep them straight or where they're going to be. I write them down in a paper planner, my wall calendar, and my phone's calendar. And I still wind up looking them up multiple times because I don't trust my brain's ability to recall.

I'm expected to write down detailed symptoms. I don't recognize symptoms as symptoms. It just feels like a Tuesday to me. But do try to have a normal life, the docs encourage: eat right, be active, get sleep. How do I do that and not wonder if what I'm feeling while I'm trying to be normal is a symptom?
.
.
.
.
#heartfailure #congestiveheartfailure #congenitalheartdefect
Waiting. . . . #catsofinstagram #charliesworld #in Waiting.
.
.
.
#catsofinstagram #charliesworld #instacats #catsofig #catstagram
Day 2 of #heartmonth is #motivationmonday. All I c Day 2 of #heartmonth is #motivationmonday. All I can say, is sometimes motivation feels like the end of a very long tunnel; a pinprick of light in an otherwise black abyss. Motivation eludes me more than I care to admit. When it feels unattainable I feel like the little girl I used to be, opening my eyes in a pitch black room, are my eyes actually open? Making my way across the room, arms outstretched, hoping I don't run into anything, or worse, fall. 
And then other times, like on this Monday, motivation arrives and it feels easy, like a special occasion you'vebeen waiting for. So you wear the anatomical heart earrings your daughter bought you and you don the gifted knit heart cowl your knitty BFF made for you and for a day you feel normal.
.
.
.
.
#congenitalheartdefectsurvivor #congestiveheartfailure #dtga
Today kicks off the first day of #heartmonth. I st Today kicks off the first day of #heartmonth. I still think it's silly to only give one day, one month, or even one week to talk about heart disease. Alas, here we are. 

I'm going to do my best to follow the 28 daily prompts for #heartdisease and #chdawareness but I make no promises.

Today's prompt is #BeyondtheDiagnosis. To me, looking beyond being born with a CHD means a few things:

It's the invisible things that can't be measured on a chart, like the fatigue, sadness for the health I wasn't born with, and the mental math of asking myself if I have enough energy for all I want to get accomplished in a week, or even a day.

It's being seen as a whole person; not the condition the doctors are treating. This a part of me, not all of me. I'm still a parent, friend, writer, a hopeless romantic. Yes, I'm a heart patient, I ALWAYS will be, but I'm also opinionated, stubborn, funny, and a person with real feelings. 

But most of all it's refusing to be reduced to number in the healthcare system, or someone else's discomfort.
.
.
.
#chdawareness
Follow on Instagram

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