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You are here: Home / Personal thoughts / Christmas all over… Again.

Christmas all over… Again.

By Know-it-All Nikki Leave a Comment

Christmas can’t come and go soon enough this year.
I don’t know why I feel this way. Maybe it’s from the lack of funds in the bank, the mounting, bills, the husband that says “Get a Job” Yet I haven’t asked him for a dime. Or it’s the children and the 3 birthdays between the 19th and 23rd of next month that is absolutely going to kill me or send me straight to the Poor House.
Or maybe it’s because every year I say I will be ready and yet I never am.
I want to be baking cookies and decorating my house and putting up my tree and feel Christmasy… but I don’t and I don’t think that doing those things will make me feel that way anyway but still. I want to. Would you call me depressed? I don’t think so. I think the word for me is more melancholy. But still, maybe I should ask for some antidepressants for Christmas instead of the funky sweater at Wal-Mart or the 2 CD’s I want or the undies I badly need.
Maybe that is it. Maybe no one has really asked me what I want. I know that dear hubby will think he knows what I want and go out and get me something I am going to have to use to make it look like I am taking care of the house (except the new Dirt Devil Rechargeable Stick Vac…) Otherwise, if Santa can’t bring me something that makes me feel pretty, then please don’t come next year. I don’t even want Jewelry. Yeah, that would be a first thought in the “feel pretty” description but it isn’t. I don’t really wear jewelry. But I like boots, and books, and sweaters, and slippers and things like that. A new CD, and empty house, a good book and warm bath makes Momma feel Damn Gorgeous.
I don’t know, maybe I feel greedy, maybe I feel like I am worn out and need abreak, or maybe, I would just like someone to ask me what I WANT for a change instead of me doing the asking of everyone else.

Filed Under: Personal thoughts Tagged With: Everything Else

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Hi there!

I’m Nikki and I’m thrilled to have you here. I’m powered by a good chai latte, loads of chocolate, and humor. Here at Know-it-all Nikki, I dish up honest conversations about self-care and mental health. I also share living with a congenital heart defect, my love of books, knitting, midlife, and life as a Buckeye exploring The Last Frontier. So, pull up a seat, grab your tea, and let’s spill some tea, have a lot of laughs, and a few good cries. To learn more about what makes me tick, CLICK HERE

knowitallnikki

This could be very exciting! . . . . . #achd #crit This could be very exciting!
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I didn't think i would need a laptop today. Turns I didn't think i would need a laptop today. Turns out I was slightly wrong. Prepared as always with all my electronics, I'm thankful my kindle was fully charged as was the keyboard because my tablet definitely wasn't... Sure, I have pen and paper but that's for brainstorming! I was also in need of my favorite chai!
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Almost an hour later we are finally boarding. This Almost an hour later we are finally boarding. This reminds me of that time I flew to Cleveland two weeks ago.
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Hanging with my former office manager at the satel Hanging with my former office manager at the satellite location has made me realize that time marches on with or without us. Eventually we all move a little slower, our hair color fades, and our age begins to show, both inside and out. 
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But age is just a number and a state of mind. Our people see past the surface and love what's underneath and that's really all that matters.
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Quick update 9n injections and what's next. . . . Quick update 9n injections and what's next.
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The very idea that I have to do this to myself twice a day for the next week makes me want to vomit. I begged them to not make me do it but when I told the NP how I felt, ugh... it was dismissed. 

Wasnt there another option? Apparently not as warfarin isn't reliable (current blood thinner) or so I have been told. 

I've been told this doesn't hurt and that I won't feel a thing but I've been lied to before.

If you don't hear from me in the morning, there's a good chance I fainted and cracked my head open on the floor.
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