When I decided I wanted to take a little break, I knew it wouldn’t be for long but it was something I felt like I needed to say, or “announce” out loud so that I would feel like it was okay for me to just walk away for a bit.
Walking away is nice. In fact, I even debated coming back at all. I even made a list of pros, cons and then another one that simply said, “loves”. I took 13 days and spent a little more time with Brian, the kids, and myself. I sat and stared out windows, I drove, I read, I visited the library… a lot. It was a blogcation. There’s something liberating about saying I’m not going to do this and you can’t make me and have it be true because you’re the. only. person. who can make you do it. Know what I mean? I bet my kids wished they had that option.
Sunday made me consider not coming back even more after a pretty awful customer service/community management experience (I’ll get to that another day)… but in short, it made me hate social media, my job as a community manager, and actually made me feel like I was completely right in feeling like no matter where I am online… I just can’t be me: an end user like the rest of you.
But on Monday… I dunno, I must have had a dream or something but whatever happened while I slept (subliminal messages from Brian while I snored maybe?) when I woke up, I felt like I was ready to be here again. I had spent the week before looking at some old posts at Know-it-All Nikki and wondered… why don’t I blog like that anymore? Where did my voice go? I don’t have laryngitis that I can tell but for some reason… my voice. Has changed.
Evolution of the blogger maybe?
Possibly. I don’t know yet.
If you’ve never taken a blogcation I highly recommend it. Even if it’s just for the weekend where you just publicly shout, “I’M NOT BLOGGING! SO THERE! HA!” I mean you don’t have to add all of that but if you do… something weird will happen.
You’ll come up with things to blog about.
No shit. It really happens. About 48 hours into my little blogcation, between feeling like I hated blogging and wishing I could completely quit, I came up with ideas to blog about.
That’s crazy isn’t it? Yeah, I thought so too. Something about the mind and the way it works, blah… blah.
I love blogging. I hate juggling. I hate obligation. I love writing. I hate forcing it. But I really hate when it feels like work. I love talking (had a phone conversation with me lately? You totally should). What I love more than all of that is story telling. I love to tell a good story. My grandfather used to tell stories that no matter how many times you’d heard them, you would sit through them again and again. Damn, I miss that man. My uncle Mike could do it too. He was a very energetic story teller and got you all involved in the story. I can picture him standing in his garage, lamenting his latest adventure, I miss him too. Even if I don’t have half of their talent, I still love the art of a good story and sometimes I even make it all obvious by starting with “Oooh did I ever tell you about…” and we roll from there.
So while I was deciding how I wanted to say Hi, I’m back, I thought of Get Back by the Beatles. I’ve felt burnt out, hating what I do, hating how I do it. I so don’t think that’s me – with all the hating. I’m a complainer; not a hater.
I think The Beatles were incredibly smart men, who knew that no matter where we go, or who we try to be, sometimes we just can’t deny who and what we really are.
So I think it’s time that I just Get Back. And all that entails.