I don’t have many friends it seems anymore. It seems that with the onset of children, houses, husbands, and just life, everyone I have ever been close to drifts apart at some point or another.
Most of my friends though are still girls I went to high school with. I have found that they are the best friends a gal can have. I mean, why not, they know your past, you’ve talked about your hopes and dreams with them, they’ve witnessed most everything that a girl holds dear, failed attempts at love, first kisses, parental anguish, the most embarrasing things life has to offer, and still they call you friend.
So I am terribly dissapointed in my friend. We have been friends for years, she knows everything about me, including where all my hot buttons are and how to make me smile.
We recently had a phone conversation and I was whining/worrying away at the surgery coming up. What was I gonna do? Peanut Butter is still nursing and I have to leave him overnight. He is not terribly fond of the bottle (why get it canned when you can have your milk straight from the tap). So naturally I am imagining the worst. I am worried that he will wither away to nothing and starve to death in 48 hours. My sister will refuse to ever care for him again and swear off having anymore children after 2 days with a baby going through boob withdrawl. I have almost no freezer supply to send, most of it had to be thrown out cause it was froze too long.
So for those of you moms that dont breastfeed, its ok, neither does my friend, but she knows me. Knows how important this is to me… or at least I thought she did. I mean, I have worries enough with this surgery, the last thing I need is a callous and thoughtless comment like the one I got.
“You’ve nursed for 4 months and you’ve done great. Why don’t you just give it up and give him formula?” I should’ve dropped the phone, beat it against the wall and said, “Hello? We have a bad connection!!” Or just screamed at her – how could she be so rude?
I was cut to the bone. How hurtful. I have nursed all my babies, so why let a little thing like surgery keep me from it. In my mind’s eye this is just a little roadblock to overcome. Breastfeeding my babies is important to me. I have overcome every breastfeeding obstacle thrown at me… and she’s my friend!! How could she just tell me to give it up? I am still of the mindset that I can come out of this surgery still nursing. I know I can, I just need to figure out how and I was so praying that my friend, who knows what I think of more surgery, who knows I feel about it all, would have words of encouragement or some ideas… not throw in the towel.
When it comes to nursing, I am the monority, among friends and family… but I have never had anyone tell me to give it up and I am not the type of mom to nurse past a year, that’s when nursing leaves my comfort level. I love to do it and I know I am doing a great thing but I am not comfortable with the notion of nursing past a year, it is not for me. BUT I would never tell another mom who does, to give it up.
So since then I have avoided covering my nursing roadblock with her. I know I will get through it somehow but I know now that I can’t count on her for support.