• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Know-it-all Nikki
  • Knit
  • My Heart
  • Read
  • Explore
    • Alaska
    • Depression and Anxiety
    • Life
    • Monday Motivation
    • Nikki’s Notes
    • Recipes
You are here: Home / Nurture Thyself / Mental Health / Maybe They should Go Find Less

Maybe They should Go Find Less

By Know-it-All Nikki 3 Comments

Therapy is a rollercoaster of information and feelings. One minute I’m celebrating the A-HA! moments and the next, I’m sobbing uncontrollably.

I would never hold it against someone who says therapy isn’t for them, or who doesn’t want their head “shrunk”. But, I would wonder if there was something they didn’t want to learn about themselves or the people they surround themselves with.

My head hasn’t been shrunk. It’s actually the same size or maybe even bigger than it was four months ago. Therapy has allowed me to stop taking the blame for other people’s failures and faults and to some extent, even my own, because, as much I am a know-it-all, I am not a PERFECT know-it-all.

That brings me to the point of this post. I was scrolling through Instagram, as one does, and saw a post that just hit me in the gut.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Business & Boldness Coach (@amandakrill)

I’ve been told I’m a lot more times than I can count. By my friends, colleagues, family, you name it, they’ve told me “you’re just, a lot.” I’ve also been told I’m a lot of other things…  too loud, too aggressive, too wishy-washy…

I never knew how to respond.

Thank you?

Oh yeah, well you are a poo-poo head.

You think I’m loud now (usually followed by…)

You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Honestly, until now I never considered telling someone to simply GO FIND LESS.

Why would I ever think to tell someone who thinks I’m too much for them to go find something LESS. Something they are better equipped to handle.

Seeing Amanda’s post was both an A-HA and a sob uncontrollably moment.

Every time someone has told me I’m too much of something, it makes ME feel like less when really, it’s the other person who wants or needs less.

It doesn’t seem fair, does it? Maybe this therapy thing is opening my eyes to much more than fixing myself. I know I’m a flawed human. We are all flawed humans. But why should I, or any of you, feel like you’re in the wrong for someone else not being able to rise to your level or because they can’t handle you?

We don’t need to be handled. If they are uncomfortable, that only means they aren’t one of your people and if they’re not, then why be less than who you are just to make them happy?

In a way, therapy has reminded me of the good things that make me too much for other people.

I’m smart but I’ve always downplayed it because there was always seemed to be someone smarter in the room.

I’m capable but I don’t always do things the way other people do.

I’m passionate about the things and people that matter to me.

I’m easily excited (and amused too) but other people may be bored by those things.

I’m a creative thinker. A problem solver. (I get this from my dad, go ahead and tell him he’s not creative or a problem solver, I DARE you.)

Hell, I’m even somewhat cute, adorable even.

And all of those things make me, ME. And if you nodded yes to any of those, then that’s what makes you, YOU.

I made a promise to myself after heart surgery, I wasn’t going to keep on the way I had been. Things needed to change.

Maybe some of those things are me, and maybe they aren’t, but one thing is for sure if someone is telling you you’re a lot, it’s because they aren’t ENOUGH for YOU.

Filed Under: Mental Health, Monday Motivation

Affiliate Disclosure

Know-it-All Nikki is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

*Posts containing affiliate links will always be disclosed.

Previous Post: « 10 Books to read before summer is over
Next Post: Happy Food Coma Week! »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Heather

    August 30, 2021 at 7:54 am

    I love this so much and I love you too! You know that I get told that by so many people and I just say those aren’t my people; but I love telling them to go seek less.

    Reply
  2. Beth Havey

    August 30, 2021 at 11:07 am

    Never ever deny how much you have to offer. Some people just cannot warm to the gifts of others. That is not your problem. You are warm and open and I thank you for giving me more. I am a seeker, always wanting to improve and learn more.

    Reply
  3. Rebecca Forstadt Olkowski

    August 30, 2021 at 2:58 pm

    Not everyone is a perfect fit. There are always people waiting in the wings who get you.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Hi there!

I’m Nikki and I’m thrilled to have you here. I’m powered by a good chai latte, loads of chocolate, and humor. Here at Know-it-all Nikki, I dish up honest conversations about self-care and mental health. I also share living with a congenital heart defect, my love of books, knitting, midlife, and life as a Buckeye exploring The Last Frontier. So, pull up a seat, grab your tea, and let’s spill some tea, have a lot of laughs, and a few good cries. To learn more about what makes me tick, CLICK HERE

knowitallnikki

This could be very exciting! . . . . . #achd #crit This could be very exciting!
.
.
.
.
.
#achd #criticalcongenitalheartdefect #dtga #dextrotranspositionofthegreatarteries #pacemakerlife #chdawareness #afibawareness #heartfailure #1in100 #ACHDAdventuresWithNikki #achdvoices #chdawareness
I didn't think i would need a laptop today. Turns I didn't think i would need a laptop today. Turns out I was slightly wrong. Prepared as always with all my electronics, I'm thankful my kindle was fully charged as was the keyboard because my tablet definitely wasn't... Sure, I have pen and paper but that's for brainstorming! I was also in need of my favorite chai!
.
.
.
.
.
#mrandmrssmithmovetoalaska #writer #passionplanner #PashFam #passionplannerambassador #mentalhealth #knowitallnikkihasadhd #amwriting #ACHDAdventuresWithNikki #welcometomymobileoffice
Almost an hour later we are finally boarding. This Almost an hour later we are finally boarding. This reminds me of that time I flew to Cleveland two weeks ago.
.
.
.
.
.
#ACHDAdventuresWithNikki #travel #achd #medicaltravel #chdawareness #chronicillness #dtga #adultchdsurvivor #pacemakerlife #pacemakerclub #1in100
Hanging with my former office manager at the satel Hanging with my former office manager at the satellite location has made me realize that time marches on with or without us. Eventually we all move a little slower, our hair color fades, and our age begins to show, both inside and out. 
.
.
But age is just a number and a state of mind. Our people see past the surface and love what's underneath and that's really all that matters.
.
.
.
.
#goldenlily #goldenretrievers #goldenretrieverlove #goldenretrieversofinstagram #mansbestfriend #momsbestfriend #dogsofinstagram #instadogs #dogsofig #petsofohio #petsofinstagram #officedog #ACHDAdventuresWithNikki
Last appointment is an ECG, heart cath site check, Last appointment is an ECG, heart cath site check, and who know what else is planned? My doctors often joke they don't get to see me enough so when they have me, they want to spend as much time with me as they can. 🤣🤣 They are sooo lucky I like them!
.
.
.
.
#achd #congenitalheartdefect #adultchd #dtga #dextrotranspositionofthegreatarteries #transpositionofthegreatarteries #achdvoices #1in100 #ACHDAdventuresWithNikki #achdawareness #pacemakerlife #zippersister #pacemakerclub #adultchdsurvivor #chdvoices
Today i just tell you how tired I am because my br Today i just tell you how tired I am because my brain has forgotten how to function.
.
.
.
.
.
#achd #chdvoice #ACHDAdventuresWithNikki #chdawareness #1in100 #congenitalheartdefect #adultchd #dtga #dextrotranspositionofthegreatarteries #transpositionofthegreatarteries #anticoagulantes #achdvoices #voicesofchd #achdawareness #pacemakerclub #pacemakerlife
Quick update 9n injections and what's next. . . . Quick update 9n injections and what's next.
.
.
.
.
.
#achd #criticalcongenitalheartdefect #dtga #dextrotranspositionofthegreatarteries #transpositionofthegreatarteries #dtga #adultchdsurvivor #pacemakerlife #chdawareness #afibawareness #heartfailure #chdsurvivor #pacemakerclub #chdvoice #1in100 #zippersister #ACHDAdventuresWithNikki
Have I ever told you how much I hate needles? If n Have I ever told you how much I hate needles? If not, let me explain.

A childhood of being poked, held down, crying over the feeling of a needle under my skin has left me traumatized to the point of even feeling lightheaded, dizzy, and nauseous at times. 

The very idea that I have to do this to myself twice a day for the next week makes me want to vomit. I begged them to not make me do it but when I told the NP how I felt, ugh... it was dismissed. 

Wasnt there another option? Apparently not as warfarin isn't reliable (current blood thinner) or so I have been told. 

I've been told this doesn't hurt and that I won't feel a thing but I've been lied to before.

If you don't hear from me in the morning, there's a good chance I fainted and cracked my head open on the floor.
.
.
.
.
.
#chdvoice #chdsurvivor #congenitalheartdefect #adultchdsurvivor #achd #anticoagulantes #lovenox #ACHDAdventuresWithNikki #achdvoices #1in100 #zippersister #dextrotranspositionofthegreatarteries #transpositionofthegreatarteries #dtga #TGA
Sadness is getting all comfortable and realizing y Sadness is getting all comfortable and realizing you need a drink of water and you left the water bottle on the other side of the room.
.
.
.
.
.
#chdawareness #chronicillness #chdsurvivor #congenitalheartdefect #adultchd #pacemakerlife #pacemakerclub #ACHDAdventuresWithNikki #achdvoices #1in100 #dtga #dextrotranspositionofthegreatarteries #transpositionofthegreatarteries #TGA
Load More Follow on Instagram

Footer

  • About this site
  • Advertising
    • Request a book review
  • Privacy Policy
  • Hire Me

Copyright 2006-2022 NLS Creative Privacy Policy