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You guys, where did this year go? It feels like we just came home from Ohio yesterday. It’s absolute craziness, I tell ya.
I was filling out my planner for this week and it’s the first week since mid-July that I don’t have any deadlines (other than the ones I create for myself). I had to do a double-take, was this a dream? Then I noticed next week starts a whole new month. By this time next week, we have one month left to the new year. So I ask you again, WHERE DID THIS YEAR GO?
Let’s catch up, shall we?
If it seems as though I’ve been distant from here, it’s because I have – but in a good way. For once, in a long time, I’m able to say I met a goal. At the beginning of this year, I was back in my home state helping with my MIL and I could not figure out what I needed to focus on. So much was going on, it felt like I was surrounded by dumpster fires and the hose I had was too short. Then I realized part of my problem was I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t. I relied too much on other people to tell me when, where, and how to live. Serious talks with my MIL helped me remember that at the end of the day, everyone else could pack up and leave if they wanted but I’d still be stuck with myself.
I had to learn how to trust myself again, to have faith in my own thoughts and decisions. And guess what, it worked.
It didn’t happen overnight and it had to start with a small step, that was going back to therapy. In 2020 I had virtual visits with a life coach who was not just a friend, but an amazing teacher. I love Stephanie, I think it was her coaching and her help that put the rest of it in motion. If you’re in Alaska, I highly recommend her.
Once I was home and settled, my birthday gift to myself was seeing a therapist; someone who could help me unpack my brain and emotions and make sense out of it all. I’m not done yet but I feel a lot more in control of my present and my future.
The last part of the trust goal was to trust that I am still hireable and I can still work in the freelance space. That too was a slow step and if you think I’ve met some crazy high-income goal, you’d be wrong. But I am at a point where there is actually money in my savings again.
It all comes back to Self-Care
All of these goals were parts of self-care. I made it my J O B this year to stand back and ask “what if…” and then decide if I what I was what if-ing about lined up with how I wanted to care for myself this year. If it didn’t align the way I wanted it to, then I didn’t do it.
Of course this week, this whole month, really, is all about gratitude and thankfulness. I glanced back this year in my planner and for the first time, I could see the growth I’ve experienced. I can’t help but be thankful that trusting myself had gotten me this far.
Right now, the best kind of self-care you can provide yourself with is gratitude for how far you’ve come this year. Even if it looks like a giant step backward, as long as you trust in yourself, you will move forward.
So, be thankful for the turkey, the dressing, the pie (store-bought or homemade), the people you choose to feast with, your health, or someone else’s health.
Give yourself some grace this week and let the tryptophan do its job.